The Avengers - Happy Birthday, Steve!

"Ow, Steve!"

"Ooops, sorry! Open wider!"

"I am opening wide!"

"And stop talking! How I am supposed to aim when you keep moving?"

Clint stopped halfway to the kitchen, painfully closing his eyes. Why, why it was always him walking on them? Okay, he totally understood that it was Steve's birthday, and Tony and Steve always had wild sex on Steve's birthday (yes, during the years they didn't even bother to be covert anymore), but in the kitchen?! In the shared kitchen?! Clint just wanted to go there and get some barbecue leftovers, because the honey glazed chicken wings were calling his name. He shuffled his feet on the wooden panels. Oh, to get scarred for life, or to die from hunger. That was the question.

"Ow!"

"Huh. You have such a big mouth, why it doesn't want to get in?"

Okay, starvation didn't sound so bad, after all.

"Gah!" Clint yelped, when he spun around and bumped straight into Natasha.

Natasha winced and hissed something under her breath, which sounded like 'idiot' in Russian (one of the not many words Clint understood), when the archer bumped into her, painfully knocking his nose into his girlfriend's forehead.

"Clint, don't stand here like that!" she scolded, making a semi circle around Clint to pass him and bravely walked into the kitchen.

"No, Natasha, don't!!" Clint yelled after her, putting hands to his mouth in sheer horror. He expected a girly scream (Tony's), and blood spilling (probably Steve's), but nothing happened. He heard the fridge open and Natasha taking some food out, while Tony and Steve continued to hiss and laugh at each other.

Okay, either Natasha was one hardcore lady, which she was, or she became desensitized after so many years with superhusbands in the same building as her, or…

Nothing was happening.

Clint took a deep breath and straightened up, ready to face the potential danger. In the kitchen, he saw Natasha at the counter, preparing a sandwich for herself, and Steve and Tony, sitting at the table, across from each other, and Steve throwing some candy into Tony's mouth. It was a mystery if Steve's aim was that bad, or he was doing it on purpose and the candy kept bouncing off Tony's nose, or cheeks, instead of falling into his mouth.

"Ow!" Tony winced and rubbed the sore spot when the red round candy hit him in the nose. "You suck at this!" he laughed, watching Steve grin and toss a blue candy into his own mouth, crushing it with his teeth with a grin.

Clint almost laughed in relief. At least this time, he didn't make a fool out of himself. Then his attention was drawn by a candy jar, filled in with blue, red and white candy Steve had been holding in his hand.

"What's that?" Clint asked, walking to Natasha and joining her at the counter, taking  a plate out of the cabinet.

"Patriotic candy," Steve replied with a bright grin, plucking out another one out, and aiming at Tony's opened mouth. "Natasha gave me it for my birthday," he laughed, throwing the candy, and this time, popping it right into Tony's mouth.

For a second, Tony kept his mouth still opened, not over the shock that he didn't get the candy in his nose or eye as usual, before he closed his jaws and broke the candy with a nice crunch. "Score!" he called in triumph, tossing his arms up, causing Steve to puff out his chest proudly.

"Wait…" Clint stuttered, his hand slumping down as he was near the fridge, hand almost reaching for the stack of glazed and crunchy chicken wings. "You gave Steve candy?" he asked the red head. That seemed like such a cheap gift.

Natasha shrugged, biting into her sandwich, waltzing out of the kitchen. "He loves it," she explained on her way out and ruffled Steve's hair affectionately as if he was a puppy.

"I do," Steve smiled bright and honest, eating another candy, "thanks, Tasha."

Natasha winked and walked out, leaving half of the team in the kitchen.

"Hey, Clint, close the fridge! It is not good for the fridge!" Tony warned the stunned archer.

Clint grabbed the plate of chicken wings, and quickly scooped the half of them on his plate, then put the remaining ones in the fridge. "She bought you candy?! And I spent months, looking for that first edition Three Musketeers book for you!" he scoffed.

"Oh yeah, don't worry, I love it too," Steve smiled at his friend, the book already presenting itself proudly among Steve's book collection.

"Wow, first edition," Tony marveled with a whistle, "that had to cost like… 150 candy jars," he teased with a grin.

Clint hmphed, and leaned over the counter, bringing the first chicken wing to his mouth. "And what did you get him?" he asked Tony, knowing, that it had to be something excessive.

Tony brightened. "An extra big bottle of lube," he said in all excitement, "for us both to enjoy."

Clint dropped the chicken wing.

"I think that one is my favorite present. Definitely using it tonight," Steve murmured, taking out another candy. Before he could throw it to Tony, they heard panicked, scrambled footsteps belonging to Clint who rushed out of the kitchen, the solitary, abandoned chicken wing being the only hint that he had ever been there.

Tony giggled, while Steve shook his head at such a waste of food.

"Don't you just love scarring Clint?" Tony asked, mischief coloring his words.

"Yup. That's a nice birthday gift too," Steve confirmed, popping the candy into his mouth and leaning to take the chicken wing to toss it into the sink. He wiped his hands and took another candy, aiming at Tony. "Open wide," he asked sweetly.

Tony did, moving a little to the left when Steve tossed the candy to him, catching it into his opened mouth, and chewing with a smile.

"Hope you will be that willing to open tonight too," Steve teased, getting another candy.

Tony only purred as an answer. Well, it was Steve's birthday, and how he could say 'no' to the birthday boy?